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Dr. Tonia Dixon's avatar

I read to the end.

I had a growth too! Surgery 11/25/2024. Still recovering… will be for some time. A growth I ignored for 18 years until an elective surgery became life-saving.

I’m new to Substack! And I keep affirming, I’m not here chasing the metrics. I’m here writing into the expanse hoping to help one person with my words the way I’ve been healed by another’s words.

I have no paywall. Not interested in falling into the trap of this becoming a part-time job.

So yes, I love the farming idea of just scattering seeds and trusting the universe to do the rest. My job is to scatter (write).

For me there’s something magical about the act of trusting the unseen that I’m learning to fully surrender too.

Thanks for giving space for sharing.

rose june's avatar

Welcome to Substack, Dr. Tonia!

Thank you for sharing so transparently here. Sending you well wishes for your surgery recovery.

I love this affirmation: "I’m here writing into the expanse hoping to help one person with my words the way I’ve been healed by another’s words."

I also love "My job is to scatter." I don't know why I didn't follow that analogy all the way through in this piece, but I am so glad you took it there.

Jamal's avatar

I appreciate this post Rose. About an hour ago, I texted Robert, Alex and Marc about how I don't desire to share anything publicly right now.

Sharing that helped me realize I might need a break from writing but reading your words just helped me remove "might" from the equation. 🙏🏽

rose june's avatar

I know this fatigue too well, Jamal. I am glad you have this beautiful support system to help you through it—folks who are there to remind you that you are more than the work you produce online.

I think a healthy relationship with growth is one where you can reflect and take time to look at the harvest. I am sure you will find beautiful fruit there. I know I see it in your work. Your archive is a blessing. How often do you sit back and just revel in it?

Callahan Gobble's avatar

This is gorgeous. I am reminded Ram Dass’s notion of shifting from somebody to nobody. Def need to check that O’Dell book. Hope you are recovering well from your surgery!

Jenny Smith's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful piece of writing and reflection.

rose june's avatar

Thanks for reading, Jenny!

Bethany Nicole's avatar

I have sooo many thoughts about this. I relate so much to your journey w DSBW. For me it was a couple different ventures. The Flipside podcast and AspirationStation lmao. Reading this is so healing. I’ll be bookmarking and returning many times.

rose june's avatar

I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts as you reflect and release them! Whew the path of working online has its own disenfranchised grief. I am glad this post was healing for you. 🖤