Restless Churnings
Advent Week Three: A Mediation...for When Joy is Hard to Hold
I am in the middle of finals week (I 10/10 do not recommend writing an Advent series during finals. I thought I would “plan” it out a month in advance but all I really did was make this Canva graphic, write the first week, and daydream some ideas).
So here we are. Next week, I will follow up on this inspiration given to me by a friend (shoutout to you, Melanie), but for today I will share this piece from Howard Thurman’s Meditations of the Heart,1 which I reflected on in one of my final papers.
Before you rush through, linger on this quote from Audre Lorde:
“…we must fight that inserted piece of self-destruction that lives and flourishes like a poison inside of us, unexamined until it makes us turn upon that loathing buried deep within each one of us and to see who it encourages us to despise, and we can lessen its potency by the knowledge of our real connectedness, arcing across our differences.”2
OUR LITTLE LIVES —Howard Thurman
Our little lives, our big problems—these we place upon Thy altar!
The quietness in Thy temple of Silence again and again rebuffs us:
For some there is no discipline to hold them steady in the waiting,
And the minds reject the noiseless invasion of Your spirit.
For some there is no will to offer what is central in the thoughts—
The confusion is so manifest, there is no starting place to take hold.
For some the evils of the world tear down all concentrations
And scatter the focus of the high resolves.
War and the threat of war has covered us with heavy shadows,
Making the days big with forebodings—
The nights crowded with frenzied dreams and restless churnings
We do not know how to do what we know to do.
We do not know how to be what we know to be.
Our little lives, our big problems—these we place upon Thy altar!
Brood over our spirits, Our Father,
Blow upon whatver dream Thou hast for us
That there may glow
Landing Tracks
What practices, in this Advent season, keep you “steady in the waiting”?
The part that stands out most to me in this meditation, as a vocation and spiritual formation scholar is,
“We do not know how to do what we know to do.
We do not know how to be what we know to be.”
This speaks to me as someone who often feels stuck—we are so often informed but not transformed.
What part stands out for you?
What affirmations come to mind as you reach for joy when it is hardest to find? Are they your words or the words of others? Are they images, sounds, songs, foods, or actions?
As always, you are free to share your reflections in the comments if you so desire. I look forward to reading them on the other side of finals!
Thurman, Howard, Mediations of the Heart, 83-84.
Lorde, Audre, Learning from the 60s, 142.
I don’t know how you do it, but you always seem to be whispering to my soul good stuff that I search for. What a gift.
I love these words and the questions/thoughts you followed with. The feeling stuck and often being informed but not transformed- ok? Yes, that part. Thank you for this food for thought in my heart. Blessings to you, Rose💕