Your words really touched me. Thank you. I hope you get that job. I loved the video and seeing your silliness and light-heartedness too! Now I’m going to read some Lucille Clifton.
Confirmation of a thought barely 24 hrs ago..how to truly hold space for and honor, not only my "heros" but myself as well...now I have a partner and a path!
#1. The choir director hands as you sang “every rose has its thorn” got me good.
#2. Another commenter used the word dense to describe your newsletters and I am so thankful your mind and words and experiences are shared here because wow, so full and rich.
#3. Going to be sitting with your prompts and questions as I figure out what care looks like for me in this weird season of my own life.
#4. Can we get an acoustic background strum for a Clifton poem in the future 🫣?
🎤 🎶 "Every rose has its thorn." 🎶 Your voice is beautiful! I watched the entire video and perused your tribute post to Lucille Clifton and the concept of "care". Your newsletters are so dense with meaning and insight that I have to devote separate quiet time to fully immerse myself in them. That is not a criticism. It is an observation. I enjoy the deep introspection they prompt, but they take time for me to process.
A few initial thoughts. Yes, "care" is a loaded word. It is a word that has been weoponized against women specifically. As women, we care so much about everything and everyone to the detriment of ourselves. The topic of toxic masculinity has gotten a lot of attention lately. Everyone feels so sorry for men. They have it so bad. I tell you this as someone from experience: Your profound care for them will not be reciprocated. Of course they will promise you it will be. But they will choose themselves over you every time.
So my advice is to you to always put your needs first. Do not feel guilty for choosing yourself above all else. Men have been doing this for millennia, which is why we are still here fighting for our very basic rights and freedoms. We have continually sacrificed ourselves for men. It is time for men to step up for us. Men can't help it. They have been conditioned this way since birth. They aren't going to change. We need to be the ones who change.
Hello Maggie. Thank you for sitting with my work, that is actually a major compliment since I hope to write for longevity versus shallow engagement.
Your understanding of men in general and their disappointments are not unfamiliar to me. And I have talked about my own disappointments on a podcast I cohost with Robert (who is tagged in the post above.) I hear you on the feminization of care. I’ve been recently reading bell hooks “All About Love,” which delves only care and its gendering.
If you look at the “about” section of this newsletter, you will see that it says somewhere that I am a womanist. I’d implore you to delve into what that means, Alice Walker’s definition of womanism is also linked in the footnotes of that same section. but for me, it means there are individual men in my life, emphasis on individual, who I am called love. Now, that is very difficult work. It remains difficult and full of caveats I won’t delve into. But I find my joy in knowing that I have so many brothers in my life who are actively betraying patriarchy to show up in new definitions of manhood.
I have appreciated your presence here, and hope you can continue to feel welcome to express your reflections. I would advise you in the future to refrain from giving me advice in the comments. As much as you can, use the questions I prompt to reflect on yourself. This sounds like you are projecting on me and I do not appreciate it.
I am being stern only because I am taking my own advice from this post: I cannot carry this…but it does sound like it’s burdening you. Do with that what you will and take care. 🙏🏾
Your words really touched me. Thank you. I hope you get that job. I loved the video and seeing your silliness and light-heartedness too! Now I’m going to read some Lucille Clifton.
Yay! I’m glad you enjoyed the silliness 😂🙊
Thanks for reading!
You have such a presence! It felt so warm. It’s making me rethink my thoughts on Substack adding video, I’m all for it if you’re doing it 🖤
Confirmation of a thought barely 24 hrs ago..how to truly hold space for and honor, not only my "heros" but myself as well...now I have a partner and a path!
New reader here. Appreciate your words so much. There’s both a heft and a lightness to the way you say things, and it so resonates with me.
#1. The choir director hands as you sang “every rose has its thorn” got me good.
#2. Another commenter used the word dense to describe your newsletters and I am so thankful your mind and words and experiences are shared here because wow, so full and rich.
#3. Going to be sitting with your prompts and questions as I figure out what care looks like for me in this weird season of my own life.
#4. Can we get an acoustic background strum for a Clifton poem in the future 🫣?
🎤 🎶 "Every rose has its thorn." 🎶 Your voice is beautiful! I watched the entire video and perused your tribute post to Lucille Clifton and the concept of "care". Your newsletters are so dense with meaning and insight that I have to devote separate quiet time to fully immerse myself in them. That is not a criticism. It is an observation. I enjoy the deep introspection they prompt, but they take time for me to process.
A few initial thoughts. Yes, "care" is a loaded word. It is a word that has been weoponized against women specifically. As women, we care so much about everything and everyone to the detriment of ourselves. The topic of toxic masculinity has gotten a lot of attention lately. Everyone feels so sorry for men. They have it so bad. I tell you this as someone from experience: Your profound care for them will not be reciprocated. Of course they will promise you it will be. But they will choose themselves over you every time.
So my advice is to you to always put your needs first. Do not feel guilty for choosing yourself above all else. Men have been doing this for millennia, which is why we are still here fighting for our very basic rights and freedoms. We have continually sacrificed ourselves for men. It is time for men to step up for us. Men can't help it. They have been conditioned this way since birth. They aren't going to change. We need to be the ones who change.
Hello Maggie. Thank you for sitting with my work, that is actually a major compliment since I hope to write for longevity versus shallow engagement.
Your understanding of men in general and their disappointments are not unfamiliar to me. And I have talked about my own disappointments on a podcast I cohost with Robert (who is tagged in the post above.) I hear you on the feminization of care. I’ve been recently reading bell hooks “All About Love,” which delves only care and its gendering.
If you look at the “about” section of this newsletter, you will see that it says somewhere that I am a womanist. I’d implore you to delve into what that means, Alice Walker’s definition of womanism is also linked in the footnotes of that same section. but for me, it means there are individual men in my life, emphasis on individual, who I am called love. Now, that is very difficult work. It remains difficult and full of caveats I won’t delve into. But I find my joy in knowing that I have so many brothers in my life who are actively betraying patriarchy to show up in new definitions of manhood.
I have appreciated your presence here, and hope you can continue to feel welcome to express your reflections. I would advise you in the future to refrain from giving me advice in the comments. As much as you can, use the questions I prompt to reflect on yourself. This sounds like you are projecting on me and I do not appreciate it.
I am being stern only because I am taking my own advice from this post: I cannot carry this…but it does sound like it’s burdening you. Do with that what you will and take care. 🙏🏾
Really nice. I hope the woman can start to feel and hope again.
Which woman? Me? Because I am ✨