Beyond Survival Mode
Join me in dreaming (also, merch!)
I have been in survival mode. And I will be graduating in a few months.
While I am dreaming of using the funds from this campaign to fund my LLC, and catch up on some overdue bills, I am also hoping to eventually create a cushion for this summer to catch my breath. I won’t get into the details now, perhaps I will in some updates.
The words "Survival mode is not our inheritance" comes from an affirmation I wrote almost a year ago, after graduating with my M.Div. Still, months after writing it, I was in survival mode. I did not know then how to overcome it except to re-enroll in school and get another degree. I was burnt out then, and for sure still do not have the capacity for a lot these days.
This time around, I am asking for help, and hoping not to fall for the #BlackGirlBoredom1
Here is the whole affirmation:
Where my hope lies currently…
The things that break my heart may not always get the last word. There is liberation, rest, and renewed imagination on the other side of deep pain.
I may have been misled, but God can reorient my path toward deeply caring community that celebrates my full humanity.
My body may be tired, but my mind is racing with ideas and dreams again.
I can grieve what I have lost (continually) and make space for the emergence of something new. I do not need to have all the words yet to describe what that newness is, but I can lean into its growing pains.
God is good enough to place people in my life who can support my flourishing. God is faithful enough to keep me through the uncertainty, even when that uncertainty lives in me more than in the world I encounter. Even when that uncertainty lives in the world more than it lives in me.
There is an abundance on the other side of imperialistic models of education that suppress imagination. There is abundance on the other side of capitalistic models of work that oppress the exhausted body.
We can and will dream worlds where we are rested enough to imagine anew.
Survival mode is not our inheritance.
Thank you for your support in this campaign!
There will be more to come,2 as I reaffirm my values through revisiting these affirmations and finding something I hope can help us all.
Are there any phrases, affirmations, or pieces of writing from this newsletter (or my social media) that have lingered with you? Let me know and you might see it in the shop.
According to Tiktok, Black Girl Boredom is the phenomenon of Black women being “bored” and enrolling in more school or certifications. Some are saying trauma might be involved and I can see that. Or the conditioning of never being allowed to just rest without being told you are lazy. I can see that, too.
One of my favorite activities in high school, where I studied graphic design and printing, was making screenprinting. I miss having my hands in that process, but creating these gives me a hint of nostalgia.