Hi Rose, and thank you. I am practicing what it means to not have to understand everything, because I can't understand everything--it's not all written or spoken in a language I speak. I'm doing what I can to center community, and to listen to the voices of the oppressed in that centering. Your writing helps me with that. And I am with you, here in this space, to listen to what you have to say.
I want to connect and share my experience in this place. Could you let me know how I do. I never know what's really appropriate on platforms like these. I hope what I share is though.
To my mind, the tug of war between belonging and resistance is a real terror. Yet, in the same breath an honorable romance. I'm commenting because you mentioned this place you're at and I found myself in that same place. While there I learned to pray, love intensely and differently, and work. Funny enough, the place worked too.
I also want healing in my village. For example, today I laid in bed from 7:33 to 8:16 and wondered where the time went. Next, I undressed, walked over to my closet and placed last nights pj's in the dirty clothes pile on the floor. Then I walked back into my room and grabbed my face towel that laid on top of my folded bath towel. Then I walked over to the shower, turned it on and got in. By 9:06 showered, dressed, and teeth brushed I felt my way into the next thing on my to do list. Never did I think is this freedom only where did the time go. When I put time under a glass I make it stay with expressions, rap, dancing, art, and graffiti.
Madi, your experience strikes me as vivid and intense. I am sorry you found yourself in the same place and I hope your village emerges. I think mine is still in formation, though I have found recent hope in a progressive and diverse church. I know that is not for everyone, so I write about A Gentle Landing and hope it inspires the formation of such communities in spaces beyond my words.
I am celebrating the expressions that help you stay sane and will pray, with your consent to do so, that you find more capacity to lean into those expressions.
Also, this comment section is becoming the kind of space I want to cultivate to connect with folks continually to hear from them. I also have to get back to using the chat feature more. I share that to say you have done alright in sharing here and I hope you continue to feel inspired to connect here as you find courage and capacity. :)
Thank you for the thoughful response. I agree my blog Hello Daughter is a blog about young women's culture, health, and wellness. Our audience consists of Echo Boomers and Millennials who struggle to find beauty in themselves. I'm just now excited and clear about how I'm going to use the chat feature.
If you're interested I'm having our first virtual bowling bash. It's my attempt to create a village, celebrating expression and staying sane in the mundanes of life -- for myself and others.
I've sent you the flyer. If you have time I hope you can make it.
Thank you, Rose. Here because your light is sparkling and your words are balm. With you on cultivating community. Here to listen and be in community with.
I’m sorry you experienced the trauma of tokenization, and am glad you are setting boundaries and prioritizing your safety and needs. If you desire creative spaces where Black folks are centered and nurtured, check out You Had Me at Black. I’ve been hosting a series of world building workshops and will be rolling out new programs in the new year. In the past we had a podcast and live story hour events 🤎
Rose, thank you for this beautiful writing that bears your soul. I so appreciate the way you hold the tension of opposites. Dancing between lightness and heaviness, art and protest, self care and connection, and so on. It's said I feel that dance in the pull between Morrison and Holmes' quotes. And, I feel in the paradox that is life, they both belong together. Defiance, sorrow, heaviness, courage, creativity, joy, singing, weariness, etc. over the wrongs in the world, the hardships in one's life, and so on--all belong. They blend and go together. I hope that makes sense. As an example. I'm a white, disabled ally and advocate. My passion is love and unity. After the election I was heart broken. And from that heartbreak sprang a renewed passion to write in ways that not only bring people together, but sheds light on the misunderstandings, wrongs, etc. they might not be aware of. And that came from a renewed hope that was birthed by my sorrow. Thank you, and I hope that makes sense. 🫶🏽
This response is so beautiful, Dr. Charters. I hope you copy and paste it somewhere you can reflect on it often. Thank you for engaging in this dialogue. Wishing you a gentle landing!
“How are you experiencing the two quotes shared today?”
The meat of it is about not getting caught up in the loop to explain myself each time i show up. Instead, focus on creating the art that feels true to me—the kind of art I want to read or consume.
There’s a very fine line between the two quotes because, yes, some people create from their struggles and pain, and it might seem like they’re trying to justify themselves. But if that’s what’s true to them, then there’s no right or wrong.
It’s all about learning not to get bogged down in debates over the work we create, if that makes sense?
Thank you for sharing yourself with so much depth and sensitivity and insight. I find your writings to be gentle landings for myself in a world that wants to busy me to death. When I read your work, I am better able to slow down and remember my own aliveness, and to go looking for my own authentic interiority. I hope that others are also able to receive this gift from your writings, and I hope there are people who can reflect this gift back to you as well. Rest in gentleness.
Thank you for sharing this encouragement with me, Meghan. You have no idea how much it means to me. I am glad my writing has helped shape a gentle landing for you. Wishing you many more gentle landings!
Thank you for generously sharing your truth and wisdom. The quotes are both powerful and give me much to contemplate. I look forward to reading the Perching Lines series.
Hi, thank you for sharing. As one of your white readers I thought I’d leave a comment saying I appreciate your insight. I think there is definitely a tension between creation as performance and creation as a necessary act of survival and I think that is part of what I see as the tension between the two quotes. And this is a tension I think all of my creative friends face this with much lower stakes. But when racism, when oppression is introduced, it jacks up the tension to the nth degree, the tension between these two desires is no longer an issue of creative fulfillment but an issue of survival. Where unlike an artist can choose to simply keep their work to themself, black people do not have a choice because everything they do is a performance that people will use to prove or disprove their humanity and it is much harder if not impossible to opt out of. And additionally, the added stressors of racism make the need for creative expression and creative relief even more necessary, but you’re forced to do so in a space where you are simultaneously forced to bear your humanity. Or at least that’s what I’m hearing, it is not my experience and I am open to being corrected. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you for engaging. I agree with most of what you've shared, only I'd edit "black people do not have a choice." I do think in my piece above I've tried to find our agency, which is to decide we will make art as an expression of our aliveness. The lens that it might seem like a performance of ourselves as human for the white gaze is not something we can control. But I do think there is something liberating about doing what we feel (per the Audre Lorde quote) as we walk through these tensions.
Hi Rose, and thank you. I am practicing what it means to not have to understand everything, because I can't understand everything--it's not all written or spoken in a language I speak. I'm doing what I can to center community, and to listen to the voices of the oppressed in that centering. Your writing helps me with that. And I am with you, here in this space, to listen to what you have to say.
Great to have you in this space, Laurel. Hoping you're finding gentle landings if you're still in your studies at STH 🙏🏾
Thanks Rose! I have 2.2 semesters left as of now. I'm in the home stretch! although finding a sense of "home" has been hard as of late.
I want to connect and share my experience in this place. Could you let me know how I do. I never know what's really appropriate on platforms like these. I hope what I share is though.
To my mind, the tug of war between belonging and resistance is a real terror. Yet, in the same breath an honorable romance. I'm commenting because you mentioned this place you're at and I found myself in that same place. While there I learned to pray, love intensely and differently, and work. Funny enough, the place worked too.
I also want healing in my village. For example, today I laid in bed from 7:33 to 8:16 and wondered where the time went. Next, I undressed, walked over to my closet and placed last nights pj's in the dirty clothes pile on the floor. Then I walked back into my room and grabbed my face towel that laid on top of my folded bath towel. Then I walked over to the shower, turned it on and got in. By 9:06 showered, dressed, and teeth brushed I felt my way into the next thing on my to do list. Never did I think is this freedom only where did the time go. When I put time under a glass I make it stay with expressions, rap, dancing, art, and graffiti.
Madi, your experience strikes me as vivid and intense. I am sorry you found yourself in the same place and I hope your village emerges. I think mine is still in formation, though I have found recent hope in a progressive and diverse church. I know that is not for everyone, so I write about A Gentle Landing and hope it inspires the formation of such communities in spaces beyond my words.
I am celebrating the expressions that help you stay sane and will pray, with your consent to do so, that you find more capacity to lean into those expressions.
Also, this comment section is becoming the kind of space I want to cultivate to connect with folks continually to hear from them. I also have to get back to using the chat feature more. I share that to say you have done alright in sharing here and I hope you continue to feel inspired to connect here as you find courage and capacity. :)
Thank you for the thoughful response. I agree my blog Hello Daughter is a blog about young women's culture, health, and wellness. Our audience consists of Echo Boomers and Millennials who struggle to find beauty in themselves. I'm just now excited and clear about how I'm going to use the chat feature.
If you're interested I'm having our first virtual bowling bash. It's my attempt to create a village, celebrating expression and staying sane in the mundanes of life -- for myself and others.
I've sent you the flyer. If you have time I hope you can make it.
Best perchings 🐦
Thank you, Rose. Here because your light is sparkling and your words are balm. With you on cultivating community. Here to listen and be in community with.
Thank you Sarah. Wishing you a gentle landing 🙏🏾
Thank you for this. So powerful and needed.
Wishing you a gentle landing, Julie
Thankful for this tender yet powerful reflection Rose 🙏🏽❤️
Thank you for reading, Jamal :)
I’m with you! Thank you for this piece and for consistently sharing ways to live with more kindness.
Thank you for your encouragement, Logan. Gentle landings to you 🙏🏾
I’m sorry you experienced the trauma of tokenization, and am glad you are setting boundaries and prioritizing your safety and needs. If you desire creative spaces where Black folks are centered and nurtured, check out You Had Me at Black. I’ve been hosting a series of world building workshops and will be rolling out new programs in the new year. In the past we had a podcast and live story hour events 🤎
Hello Martina, thank you for your empathy. I would love to hear more info about You Had Me at Black! Is the programming free or is there a fee?
It varies, but the workshops I mentioned are free, and virtual. The next one is Dec 14: https://events.humanitix.com/future-story-series
Rose, thank you for this beautiful writing that bears your soul. I so appreciate the way you hold the tension of opposites. Dancing between lightness and heaviness, art and protest, self care and connection, and so on. It's said I feel that dance in the pull between Morrison and Holmes' quotes. And, I feel in the paradox that is life, they both belong together. Defiance, sorrow, heaviness, courage, creativity, joy, singing, weariness, etc. over the wrongs in the world, the hardships in one's life, and so on--all belong. They blend and go together. I hope that makes sense. As an example. I'm a white, disabled ally and advocate. My passion is love and unity. After the election I was heart broken. And from that heartbreak sprang a renewed passion to write in ways that not only bring people together, but sheds light on the misunderstandings, wrongs, etc. they might not be aware of. And that came from a renewed hope that was birthed by my sorrow. Thank you, and I hope that makes sense. 🫶🏽
This response is so beautiful, Dr. Charters. I hope you copy and paste it somewhere you can reflect on it often. Thank you for engaging in this dialogue. Wishing you a gentle landing!
🥰 Thank you for saying that, Rose! What a wonderful gift. 🙏🏽
“How are you experiencing the two quotes shared today?”
The meat of it is about not getting caught up in the loop to explain myself each time i show up. Instead, focus on creating the art that feels true to me—the kind of art I want to read or consume.
There’s a very fine line between the two quotes because, yes, some people create from their struggles and pain, and it might seem like they’re trying to justify themselves. But if that’s what’s true to them, then there’s no right or wrong.
It’s all about learning not to get bogged down in debates over the work we create, if that makes sense?
I hear you. I have been in that loop and it is no fun. I feel like I narrowly escaped it here. Thank you for engaging this question with me, Tobi.
you’re welcome, gentle one.
Thank you for sharing yourself with so much depth and sensitivity and insight. I find your writings to be gentle landings for myself in a world that wants to busy me to death. When I read your work, I am better able to slow down and remember my own aliveness, and to go looking for my own authentic interiority. I hope that others are also able to receive this gift from your writings, and I hope there are people who can reflect this gift back to you as well. Rest in gentleness.
Thank you for sharing this encouragement with me, Meghan. You have no idea how much it means to me. I am glad my writing has helped shape a gentle landing for you. Wishing you many more gentle landings!
Thank you for generously sharing your truth and wisdom. The quotes are both powerful and give me much to contemplate. I look forward to reading the Perching Lines series.
Thank you for your encouragement, Stephanie. Gentle landings to you 🙏🏾
Hi, thank you for sharing. As one of your white readers I thought I’d leave a comment saying I appreciate your insight. I think there is definitely a tension between creation as performance and creation as a necessary act of survival and I think that is part of what I see as the tension between the two quotes. And this is a tension I think all of my creative friends face this with much lower stakes. But when racism, when oppression is introduced, it jacks up the tension to the nth degree, the tension between these two desires is no longer an issue of creative fulfillment but an issue of survival. Where unlike an artist can choose to simply keep their work to themself, black people do not have a choice because everything they do is a performance that people will use to prove or disprove their humanity and it is much harder if not impossible to opt out of. And additionally, the added stressors of racism make the need for creative expression and creative relief even more necessary, but you’re forced to do so in a space where you are simultaneously forced to bear your humanity. Or at least that’s what I’m hearing, it is not my experience and I am open to being corrected. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you for engaging. I agree with most of what you've shared, only I'd edit "black people do not have a choice." I do think in my piece above I've tried to find our agency, which is to decide we will make art as an expression of our aliveness. The lens that it might seem like a performance of ourselves as human for the white gaze is not something we can control. But I do think there is something liberating about doing what we feel (per the Audre Lorde quote) as we walk through these tensions.
So true! Thank you for your response. That makes total sense.
Thank you for sharing, Robert. Always in support of your need to slow down and take things in