many good works

featuring a gentle landing request

Hello gentle-people,

I hope the new year is starting off well for you all. I am easing into my goal setting and planning for the year, as I usually do. I am doing so much restless dreaming in this season and this space for me is often about finding ease in the act of writing.

I am reminded by the words of the poet Drew Jackson that I cannot give from an empty well. Jackson writes “we’re always in danger of burning out and even losing ourselves as we seek to give so much away.”¹ I am reminded that there is a stillness in life that I seek, one that roots me in right relationship with myself, other people and the planet.

So I am reevaluating what is on my plate these days and seeing where I can lighten the load. I am also asking for help. I consider this my gentle landing praxis, which is rooted in the value of community care.

I have been using this space to talk about my life’s work, to create spaces of gentle landing, for almost four years now. It is the philosophy that grounds me, since my work has always looked different.

On my website, I highlight a few offerings, but I am open to work that allows me to bring a gentle landing philosophy wherever I go. I invite you to explore what I have written here and share it with anyone who might be interested in working with me.

I thank you in advance for sharing about my work and even lingering here to read up on it some more. You can also contribute to uplifting my work by becoming a paid subscriber here or on Patreon. I also welcome one-time monetary gifts through Buy Me a Coffee or Venmo.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

jack of all trades, master of none

One of my favorite Korean dramas, Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha follows a dentist who moves to a rural seaside town to start a practice and her love interest, a man who graduated from a top university in Seoul who works all over the town, offering a wide array of services. There is a scene where the dentist needs work done on her new home and he offers to assist, showcasing a wallet full of credentials in carpentry, plumbing, and furniture making, to name a few. When the owner of the cafe or Chinese food restaurant need someone to make coffees or deliveries, he steps in. He also makes artisan candles, great liquor and can sing and play the guitar beautifully. The great mystery of the show is why someone with his education and potential would return to his hometown and work for minimum wages, no matter the work. We are led to believe this is a regressive choice.

In the show Gilmore Girls (which I would classify as a guilty pleasure), the character Kirk works a different job every episode. He is an autistic-coded man who lives with his mother and eats at the same restaurant every day. What he lacks in social skills he makes up for in versatility and an entrepreneurial spirit. Some of my favorite Kirk job moments include his stint as a skydiver (where he lands in the wrong spot) and as mail carrier, where he decides not to sort the mail before delivering it, resulting in chaos throughout the town. In one episode, he decided to spend as long as possible in a clear box suspended above the main road. Even when Kirk is good at a job, he brings a special energy to the work that showcases how odd he is in an enduring way.

Perhaps my favorite character modeling multiplicity is Lynn from Girlfriends. Lynn is a little spacey (as I can often be), often needing to borrow money from her friends or crash at their houses. Everyone else in the friend group is depicted as more settled in one job and one place to live and Lynn is portrayed as being multiple places behind. It’s been awhile since I watched the show but I remember she had three masters degrees and a different job in every episode, until towards the end when she figures out music is something she deeply loves. (We never get to see how this choice pans out, since the show was never completed due to a writer’s strike.)

I see myself in these depictions, though they are fictionalized and exaggerated. I have been called a “jack of all trades.” Did you click on my website link above? You should see my resume, which highlights how I have moved from job to job every 1-2 years and doesn’t include the many different jobs I had before college. One of the most frustrating things about this season is having conversations where people say “I hope you find the right job for you.” or “What is it you really want to do?” I have long since stopped believing the perfect job is out there. What I hold instead is a desire to do many good works throughout my lifetime.

In my last post I shared how I have been on a learning journey that involved reading a bunch of self-help books in a row. I have now finished my last one for awhile, recommended by a friend from seminary. Within the pages of The Renaissance Soul by Margaret Lobenstine, I found more reason to embrace my multiplicity. I am shaped by many interests, passions, and callings. I know now that this makes me a “renaissance soul” (or polymath or multipotentialite), or someone who loves overcoming the challenges I set for myself, as Lobenstine says.² This presents a challenge for managing overwhelm and in this season I am maxed out of challenges to overcome.

I keep another self-help book near my bed called Self-Care for Autistic People by Dr. Megan Anna Neff. I am grateful for this book, which I thumb through when I find myself feeling stressed and on the verge of—or deep in—burnout. Dr. Neff includes tips for how to use breath work, how to map out your thoughts and how to take measures to overcome sensory overload.³ But I mostly resonate with how many of her tips return to the nurturing of special interests as a healing practice. She describes special interests as a space of refuge,⁴ as they can offer a path to emotional regulation, celebrating your identity, and helping you express your values.

As I read these books, I have these moments of “I wish I knew this sooner,” rooted in my deep lament that I believed something was wrong with me. But I now feel more empowered to embrace being wired this way. I am reminded that Jesus was similar, performing “many good works” in his lifetime, though people generally think of them as miracles. His actions often got him in trouble with the religious authorities of his day, since they often contributed to reshaping the social order and upsetting cultural norms.

many good works

This phrase, “many good works,” appears in John 10:32:

Jesus said, “At my Father’s direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?”

In the section this verse appears, the people ask Jesus to tell them he is the Messiah in plain language. Jesus responds by saying I have told you exactly who I am through the work I have done and you still don’t believe me. The people respond by wanting to stone him for saying he is one with the Father, affirming what he says in that they do not recognize him.

Doing many good works makes you odd, but I am grateful at least that it hasn’t illicit a potential stoning from the people around me. Just confusion—from them and from me—about who I am and what I am doing here. Jesus’s many good works help him show up in the world in ways that offer mercy. But as evidenced by the violent reaction from the people, mercy is only a gift if you accept it.

I know there is a risk to over-identifying with one’s work, whether it is the work that puts food on the table or the work that gives us life(—some are considered lucky if there is overlap). But it is a risk I am willing to take to live a life of many good works that point back to the gentle landing I want to see in the world.

I continue to write about a vocation of softness because I believe work and rest aren’t opposites, but live in creative tension. To borrow from Jesus, I think it looks like walking in mercy and offering it. When I allow myself to get free from the myth of a single good job or interest, I offer myself mercy. It is part of the work of making sure I don’t go into autistic burnout and my renaissance soul thrives.

But the risk of overload derails this mission: it is not merciful to work beyond one’s capacity. But does it take the “good” out of many good works? Let me remind you here that some of us don’t have much of a choice. Some of us overwork ourselves to make ends meet. Some of us keep going back to school for the promise of better employment. Some of us don’t get paid to follow our passions and interests.

This newsletter began as a way to practice talking to an audience that centered the pursuit of a vocation of softness for Black women. In my work, vocation includes work and rest and the measures we take to pursue both more humanely. It has grown to embrace the view that the many good works we are called to participate in can be pursued in community—together we can do “many good works.” One person does not need to carry it all.

I call myself a restless dreamer to name the many ways I feel called but to also name the things standing in the way of my well-being. When I talk about wanting to live a vocation of softness, I am talking about having a regulated nervous system, making a decent living to meet basic needs, and being surrounded by loving community. It is about choosing an unhurried life in the midsts of (digital) overwhelm. A vocation of softness is, for me, the practice of learning how much is enough—enough work, enough rest, enough meaning—to stay in my body and my life.

soft mercy

Softness is a form of mercy. It is a refusal of living into the ways our collapsing society invites us to live, following the whims of scarcity. It is about dignity and belonging, which can often be found in the space where gentle breaths help us take the edge off. Through a vocation of softness, we get to decide that the journey of our inner lives is just as important as our outer lives, and our interconnected lives just as important as our individual lives.

In a masterclass on “Dreaming Yourself Free,” ebonyjanice told me and a group of amazing Black women and femmes that “the hardest work you should do is becom[ing] yourself.” I also think it is the softest work you can do, one filled with “many good works,” since modeling a vocation of softness can help others tap into the softness they need for their own thriving. In essence, you could feed (at least) two birds with one seed.⁵

While The Renaissance Soul celebrates multiplicity, it also recommends narrowing down your interests to a set of focal points for a particular season. It celebrates dreaming that invites mentors and friends into a journey of discernment.⁶ Discernment is all about learning not just what to choose but what to let go of. Self-Care for Autistic People similarly includes a lot of advice for overstimulation, especially if it is derived from conditions you’ve made for yourself because you couldn’t figure out what was essential and nonessential.⁷ Neff offers a guide for prioritizing tasks in a way that helps you easily identify what to drop when you are overwhelmed.

These are things we can all implement whether or not we identify as a renaissance soul or as an autistic person. When we care a lot about the work we want to do, sometimes it is easy to get carried away by car(ry)ing too much. But some of us get swept up in doing too much because our lives demand it. Whatever brought you there, you need a gentle landing, too. And I want to create spaces where we can hold one another in the softness our worthiness demands.

refuge requires abundance

The softness I seek for my life cannot be found in going it alone. I was recently reminded, by multiple friends, that I have spent this last decade building a nest, pulling together seemingly disparate ideas to shape a (kind of) life.⁸ Many of you have been here to bear witness to how these ideas have changed my life and I am so deeply grateful. You have witnessed me name and rename myself as I explored new vocational horizons.

I hope you’ll continue journeying with me as I build a studio lab that can become the umbrella under which I pursue my many passions and interests. With your help, I can shape a practice that moves at the pace of flourishing, for myself and others. I consider every investment in building this space an act of mercy, if not for yourself than for those who will find refuge here. But I am reminded of Peter Forbes, co-facilitator of the Better Selves Fellowship at Knoll Farm I was in last August, saying “you need abundance to create refuge.” I do this work in the way that I do because I believe that abundance doesn’t have to come from me alone.

Would you consider being part of creating abundance by helping me create gentle landings and offering mercy?

A life of many good works is just a stone’s throw away. But I choose to believe that we can instead choose to scatter seeds and not ourselves as we pursue it.

landing track

What are your “many good works”? How do you hold them individually? What might it look like to share the labor with others?

1. From the Made for Pax handbook given to fellowship participants.

2. Lobenstine, Margaret (2013). The Renaissance Soul: How to Make Your Passions Your Life, 2.

3. I am currently in a sensory diet, consuming a maximum of one hour of social media a day, split between 3 apps I can only check for 10 minutes at a time.

4. Neff, Dr. Megan Anna (2024). Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-stress and Unmask, 68.

5. A mentor of mine once said this instead of “kill two birds with one stone” years ago and I have been saying it ever since.

6. Lobenstine, 228.

7. Neff, 58.

8. As Lucille Clifton writes in “won’t you celebrate with me?”