catching up

Or the myth of being behind in life

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I have been behind for a long time.

Or so I tell myself whenever I look at the long list of things I have to do or check my phone messages or email.

I have been behind for a long time.

Or at least that is what society tells me when I tell my age. I should have been *here* by now. Wherever *here* is, by society’s standards.

I am reflecting on catching up and being behind because I am sick on this long weekend I had reserved to get things done. Things just…haven’t been getting done at the rate I would like them to.

Be gentle with yourself. This is what I tell myself—and what I tell you all in these newsletters. I look around my room currently and I see assignments, tasks, TBR books, and laundry.

This weekend, instead of catching up, I will catch my breath.

Funny how breath works, pulling you into the present. You are never behind when you are catching your breath. You are simply calling your attention to the present. Today I am present to this body that needs rest. I am present to this immune system that is doing the best that it can.

want to leave you with some things I have done, for you to enjoy. But I also share to remind myself of what is often lost when we focus so hard on catching up: moments of gratitude.

• One of my poems, “Wintering,” is part of this beautiful Lenten guide. This poem (found on page 6) is a reminder to embrace slowness and withering in our bodies, just as fall leans into winter.

• In a recent podcast episode, I got to reflect on years of learning that I don’t even know if I can easily synthesize here. My friendship with Dave Capozzi was a catalyst as I found my way vocationally. I am so glad we got to discuss that and more on his podcast, “Dig New Streams.” Listen here on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• It was glorious to sit in the presence of Esperanza Gene and Robert Monson to talk about Black disability theology. So much richness here. I am thankful to Robert for hosting this conversation. This will not be the last time you will here of this trio. *secretive smile* Listen to part one of the conversation on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• I also had a great conversation with Rohadi Nagassar on “Faith in a Fresh Vibe.” We were accompanied by our ancestors via thunder and lightning (on my end). Listen here on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can also find us talking about faith, identity, and mangoes on Twitter.

Thank you for catching a breath with me today.

Take two or three breaths of gratitude.

You are here.

It may not always feel miraculous, but it is.

It may not always feel like you are doing enough, but remember the myth.